For a lot of us, prayer is one of those things we know we're supposed to do but quietly feel like we're doing wrong.

We overthink the words. We compare our prayer life to someone else's. We feel inconsistent, awkward, or guilty for all the times we didn't pray. And eventually, we stop showing up altogether.

In Episode 20 of the Grounded Growth Podcast, Nicole and Stephanie unpack why prayer can feel so hard, what actually happens in our hearts and minds when we stop praying, what prayer actually is, and how to begin a simple, sustainable prayer rhythm rooted in honesty instead of performance.

Why Prayer Feels Hard

Most of us overcomplicate prayer. We think it needs the right words, the right tone, the right structure, and the right amount of time — all tied up in a pretty, spiritual-sounding bow. When we don't feel like we measure up to that standard, we hesitate. Then we avoid it. Then we give up.

But prayer was never meant to be a performance. It's a relational conversation with the Lord. Nicole shares how she used to borrow other people's prayers because she didn't trust her own words. She felt awkward. She compared her prayer life to Stephanie's. She missed a day and convinced herself the streak was broken, so why bother.

Stephanie adds that prayer requires humility — it asks us to stop pretending we have it all together and come before God with open hands and an open heart. And if you're someone who's used to holding things together, that honesty can feel uncomfortable. But at its core, prayer is simply having the Lord's ear — not because we've earned it, but because He freely gave it to us through Christ.

Prayer changes things. It doesn't always change your circumstances, but it changes your heart, your posture, and your understanding of what God is doing.

What Happens When Prayer Falls Away

When prayer starts to slip — not intentionally, but through busyness and distraction — the weight of carrying things on our own starts to quietly add up.

Nicole shares that when she pulled back from prayer, stress built up because she was holding everything internally. Her mental and emotional load felt heavier than it needed to be. She went into control mode, trying to manage every outcome. Eventually, burnout hit and her confidence in herself and her decisions shrank. Her perspective narrowed. She lost her peace.

Stephanie describes how she tends to isolate and go into fix-it mode when she's not in regular prayer. She starts believing she has to carry everything alone. She starts telling herself lies — that she's not enough, that she'll never measure up, that she should've done things differently. And the weight gets heavier because we were never meant to carry those things to begin with.

The pattern is clear: when prayer fades, pressure builds, perspective narrows, and peace disappears.

What Prayer Actually Is

This is where the episode reframes everything.

Prayer is a response — a reflex to the grace God has already given us. It's not about getting His attention. You already have His attention, always, forever. It's about responding to the fact that we are already known and loved.

Prayer also doesn't have to be long or structured. It can be quiet. It can be a few honest words in the middle of your day. Scripture tells us that when we have moanings we can't even bring to words, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us in prayer.

Nicole and Stephanie walk through the ACTS framework as a simple guide:

• A — Adoration — Recognize who God is. Tell Him who He is, and it will start reflecting back who you are in Him.
• C — Confession — Acknowledge your need for Him. Be honest about where you've drifted.
• T — Thanksgiving — Express gratitude, even for the no's and the waiting seasons.
• S — Supplication — Bring your needs and the needs of others to Him.

They also talk about lamenting prayers — the broken, sorrowful, honest prayers where you cry on your knees and the Holy Spirit has to intercede through your tears. Lamenting is welcomed by God. The book of Psalms is full of these prayers.

And Stephanie reminds us that prayer is always rooted in truth and who God has already revealed Himself to be in Scripture. Using Scripture as prayer — starting in the Psalms — is one of the most grounding habits you can build.

Prayer Is a Conversation, Not a Performance

Nicole describes prayer in simple terms: it's just a conversation. You're speaking honestly. You're removing the pressure. You're talking to your Heavenly Father the way you'd talk to a trusted friend across the table.

• Prayer is a connection, not an obligation. If you're just checking it off a list, you're missing the relational heart of it. The point is consistency — because consistency is what builds the relationship.
• Prayer is also processing, not pretending. Nicole shares how she used to borrow other people's prayers because she didn't trust her own words. Eventually, she stopped trying to sound polished and started praying the way she talked — sometimes out loud, sometimes on paper. That shift changed everything.
• And finally, prayer is where clarity often begins. Slowing down, bringing your thoughts and emotions before God, and letting Him re-anchor your perspective reduces overwhelm and brings direction.

Simple Ways to Build a Prayer Rhythm

Nicole and Stephanie share four simple ways to weave prayer into your real life:

• Start with a short, honest prayer. Remove the pressure that it has to be long. Focus on honesty, not length. A cozy chair, a cup of coffee, and a few real words is enough to start.
• Pair your prayer with your routine. This is habit stacking. Stephanie prays the moment her eye mask goes on at night. Nicole sets reminders on her watch. Prayer can happen during your drive, at a stoplight, during your morning routine, or at lunch.
• Use journaling as a form of prayer. Write what you're thankful for. Write one intention you want God to work on. Capture a few small wins. You're praying without even realizing you're praying.
• Use a guided tool like the ROOTS Morning Journal. It combines scripture, reflection, and prayer into one morning rhythm — removing the overwhelm and helping you stay consistent.

A Few Important Reminders

Prayer doesn't mean you'll always get what you want. God isn't a magic genie. His answer is usually yes, not yet, or no. Those waiting seasons can be hard, but you can trust it is for your good and His glory.

Prayer also doesn't happen separate from life. It happens right in the middle of it. Driving, folding laundry, standing in the kitchen, sitting in a quiet moment — those are all invitations to pray. You can literally open your day with prayer and keep a running conversation with God all the way through until you say good night.

The Faith Layer: The Lord Is Near to All Who Call on Him in Truth

Psalm 145:18 — The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

God is near — not just when we have the perfect words, but when we call on Him in truth. The word truth matters because it means honesty, sincerity, and humility. Prayer isn't about impressing God. It's about being known by Him.

And when we begin to live with the awareness that we have access to God at any moment, it changes how we walk through our days. We become women of peace and presence. We grow in wisdom and clarity. Prayer becomes less of a task and more of a relationship — talking to your dad in heaven.

In This Episode, You'll Hear

• Why prayer can feel overwhelming, inconsistent, or awkward
• What happens when prayer falls out of your daily life
• What prayer actually is — and what it's not
• How to use the ACTS framework to guide your prayers
• Why lamenting prayers are welcomed by God
• Simple ways to build a sustainable prayer rhythm
• How prayer reshapes your mindset, your peace, and your decisions

Continue the Conversation

If this episode resonated with you, here are a few next steps:

• Listen to the Podcast: You can listen to Episode 20 and explore the full Grounded Growth podcast here: www.groundedgrowth.org/podcast
• Start With One Honest Prayer This Week: It doesn't have to be long. It doesn't have to be polished. Just show up.
• Grab Your Weekly Reset: Our free Weekly Reset guide helps you plan your week with intention instead of reaction: www.groundedgrowth.org/WeeklyReset 

Stay grounded and keep growing.